:: Thursday, November 10, 2005 ::

And all this time I thought those were wannabe Texas Longhorns fans
From The Onion comes word that the "Supreme Metal Council," meeting on Iceland's largest glacier, have strongly condemded the misuse of the favorite hand gesture of headbangers everywhere. (Or, maybe, second-favorite hand gesture.)

"The metal sign, or 'sign of the goat,' has all but lost its impact as a token of respectful recognition for something truly 'rocking' or 'metal,'" SMC president Terence "Geezer" Butler said.
The council discussed several harsh punishments to deter further metal-sign abuse. Paulo Pinto, bassist for the Brazilian thrash-metal band Sepultura and Overlord Of International Metal Affairs, suggested that the hand of a suspected signer should be immediately cut off. A contingency of death rockers from Gothenburg, Sweden recommended that any sign abuser, or anyone who is not sufficiently metal, should be forced to eat his severed hand while having his eyeballs burned with a superheated metal crucifix, and then be slowly skinned alive.

More charitable members, such as former Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine, suggested that "a helpful list of guidelines could educate others, allowing them to distinguish between metal and non-metal occurrences."

"A lot of people who incorrectly make the sign have traces of metal in their hearts and minds, they just need the proper direction," Mustaine said. "Remember that many are outcasts and losers. To punish them further is to destroy the future of metal."
Hope that humors you, Michele.

* * *

That Onion story is almost as funny as this Jesus of the Week entry from a couple of years ago.

From the Jesus of the Week archives:
Newsweek rocks for giving us the "Jesus Rocks!" cover this week. Look at those nice Wonder Bread kids hootin' and hollerin' at a Christian rock concert! That's good wholesome fun in the name of our Lord... but, wait a second, isn't that blond chick in the front flashing the universal hand gesture of the devil's horns? Well, we're willing to overlook that for now... because Jesus Rocks!

, , , , ,

:: Andrew 07:31 + ::

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